Waiting, Waiting, Waiting
Celebrating 1 Year of Substack and Another Year of Life
It is the end of the month, friends! To end the month, I’d love to pause and celebrate one year on this app and, as always, reflect on a few things, since it’s been a year. What an exciting thing to think about! I hope you’ll enjoy this post.
It's crazy how much can change in one year.
This Wednesday marked the one-year anniversary of this Substack publication. Of all the things that I was thinking this Substack would be, I wasn't thinking that it would be more of a reflection/personal essay style of publication. It's grown with me, showing my thought processes and the things that are special in my life. I keep trying to make a schedule for myself and then end up ditching the schedule in the second week of implementation. But my life right now is kinda like that. There are very up-in-the-air, "what are we going to do today?" kind of vibes. At first, I was getting frustrated with it, but at the end of this week, I came to the realization that this might just be what life is like when I'm on the edge of adulthood.
I’m fully aware that I’ve been an adult for a while, but it’s different when your living situation is going to change and you’re primarily responsible for the food you’ll eat, the money you make, and the way you spend your time.
I found a post from a Substack author I follow, Michelle, with
, and she described the year as a waiting room. It's such a vivid description and one that I'm finding for my own life at the moment. The first half of the year was filled with finishing up the job I had and continuing my education. Imagine it being the car ride to the dentist's office. You have things to do, priorities to focus on. But now, we're in a period where I'm not quite sure what I'm doing as I'm waiting for the next part -- my big move in July. I'm sitting in the waiting room, knowing that the nurse will call me back at any moment, but waiting for that moment to get up and go. I've got things to keep me occupied, but my mind is always focused on what's supposed to happen soon.It's an interesting place to find myself in, and not really one that I can say I've had experience in in the past. There are days when I'm completely bored, searching desperately to find things to do. There are lazy days, when I know that there are things to be done, but I just don't want to do them. I don't think these things are bad, just in that waiting room mentality of things.
In these quiet times, I've been able to do more reflecting, which has been beneficial. Here's a story for you -- it's connected, but requires a little bit of background. Alongside this publication turning one year old, I celebrated my birthday. Because it was the last one that I was going to celebrate in person with my mom, dad, and brother, we took a trip and visited Medieval Times. What. An. Experience!! It made me think of myself ten years ago.
I've found that my interests are very cyclical. I've loved shows and movies when I was younger, and then rediscovered them throughout the years. While I may not always have an interest in that specific thing, I will circle around and fall in love with it all over again. The thing I find myself coming back to over and over again is my love of fantasy fiction. I grew up with The Lord of the Rings, another interest that would cyclically return, and ever since I read the books for the first time last year, the love has stayed. But as I was growing up, I loved the concept of characters my age going on a journey, and me accompanying them. I found series like The Door Within Trilogy, The Chronicles of Narnia, and later The Ravenwood Chronicles, the Follower of the Word Trilogy, and The Ilyon Chronicles, and absolutely loved each story I found. (It isn't a true fantasy series unless it's a Chronicle or a Trilogy, right?)
The first story I ever wrote and finished was a fantasy book with plenty of dragons, sword fighting, and adventures. I even created the outfit that my character wore and sewed it with my grandma to wear at a convention. I really poured my personality into my character and learned more about myself as I wrote her and the characters she interacted with.
As I was sitting there, in Medieval Times, eating tomato bisque and the entire half of a chicken, I could feel something in my childhood celebrating. It was also like that young high schooler was watching with me, cheering with me, smiling at the things that she loved. That love of fantasy has grown exponentially as I've grown older and become an adult. That escapism is such a joy, so long as I make sure to return to reality.
But to read about the children in The Door Within and The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe as they struggle, wondering just what they can do as children, was always so thought-provoking to me. Then to grow older and read Selene and other new adult characters in The Ravenwood Chronicles, The Follower of the Word Trilogy, and The Ilyon Chronicles, not only struggling with similar circumstances, but the thought of growing up and facing concepts like finding your place in the world and trying to understand the impact you have as an adult, was such a reassurance. And then to see them rise above their struggles, learning and growing, making mistakes and learning from them (or not, in some cases). It's beautiful to me.
Sure, these things can be found in other genres of fiction, but for some reason, it's always reached me the best whenever it's in that beautiful, fantasy format.
What a joy -- what a privilege -- to be able to consume and enjoy these stories. They've taught me things about myself and even the world I'm in. I discovered The Ilyon Chronicles this year and made a goal to read through it. It's resonated with me to the point where I've almost completed all of the six-book series and read one book in the series each month. I've brought these books to the "waiting room," and it's making the wait more enjoyable. These young adult characters are adjusting to new situations, trying to make new friends, and figuring out who they are.
I find myself taking notes, as funny as that sounds. Obviously, they're not like, "In case of emergency, use dragon to escape," or "Always make sure you have a short sword," but they're practical truths.
No matter how repetitive you think it is, you must be yourself.
You may feel alone standing for what's right, but you'll find your group one day.
There are these little reminders, thoughts that tell me, "Hey, you're going to have a whole bunch of new stuff soon. Here are some little tips to remind you along the way."
Writing this makes me want to start a little commonplace journal that I can put these tips into, and what stories I find them in. Wouldn't that be fun to look back and think on? And then I could read these stories again and have brand new takeaways.
I don't know if you're in a waiting room, anticipating, waiting for the next thing to happen. You may be able to look forward to a specific time, just counting the days away, or you may not know when it's happening. May I encourage you to find a character or a story that you've enjoyed in the past? Travel that journey again, experience the things that character is experiencing, too. They may have a few things to teach you. And maybe that'll make the waiting room just a little more enjoyable.
I hope that you enjoyed reading this and that something I wrote inspired you. If it did, I would love it if you could let me know and share this with others. I want to inspire as many people as I possibly can! Thanks for reading, and I’ll see you soon for my Best Finds for May!
Just loved reading this! The waiting room periods of life are so important, and I've always found that, uncomfortable as they are, they're a great time for rest and reflection. Already excited for your new chapters that are yet to come.